For Men Who Deleted Tinder 3 Times This Month
Downloaded it Monday full of hope. Deleted it Wednesday after zero matches. Redownloaded it Friday night after a few beers and too much quiet. Rinse. Repeat.
- Your best photo is from your mates wedding in 2011.
- 500 swipes. 3 matches. 0 dates.
- Competing with 30 year olds who don't have kids and a receding hairline resembling maccas.
- Last time you dated, people still used a homephone.
Look, you're not waking up as Chris Hemsworth. You don't have to. You just need an edge.
How To Use It (It's Not Complicated)
We know you weren't paying attention in chemistry. That's fine. You don't need to understand it mate. Just follow the steps.
Spray It On
One spray each side of your neck. That's it. Don't go overboard mate. Less is more, big fella.
Forget About It
Go to work. Go to the pub. Go on that date you somehow landed. It works in the background for 8-10 hours. You don't need to think about it.
See What Happens
No miracles, mate. But some blokes notice a real difference. More eye contact. Conversations that don't die after 2 minutes.
That's it. Three steps. Even you can manage this.
Still Here? Just Buy The Bloody Thing.
Free shipping. Plain box. No judgement.
Look, you can close this tab and go back to swiping right on women who'll never see your profile or open up the old black and orange or you can get back to the man you once were.
You've spent more money on dumber sh*t.